Zombie Fighting Weapons

by Robert Perkis

To survive the zombie apocalypse over the long haul will take a wide variety of specialized weapons.  Lucky for us many weapons are all around us needing only the vision to see them as weapons.

Guns

“Shoot’em in the head…” -Night of the Living Dead.

Those of us who enjoy a good reputation, who don’t live in a silly state, can buy and own  guns.  Now guns can be problematical as gun shots are reputed to attract zombies to your location.

Taking out a zombie on the road can result in hundreds of zombies roaming the road for your return trip.  Even the most secure location can be compromised by a wall of zombies a thousand feet deep surrounding the perimeter. There can never be enough bullets for all the zombies, guns are a last resort for when you’re not coming back to that area anytime soon.

That said, the time may come when society has broken down to the point where a high capacity semi-automatic weapon with silencer will be an effective tool for survival and escape.

Machine guns when obtainable are likely to be virtually ineffective. The ratio of shots fired to effective hits on a zombie foe will be way too low.  A military rifle set to sniper or three shot bursts will be useful for defense and sweeps.

Bolt action rifles are great for sniping from static defense positions, not so much outside due to the time it takes to chamber a round and to reload.

Pistols are for backup, better then knives.

Zombie combat training with guns can be done using Airsoft and Paintball.

Sci-fi zombie entertainment books and movies tend to equip the good guys with ineffective weapons and lack of head shot knowledge so the battle is roughly even or favors the side of the zombie horde.  Logically several 50 cal machine guns setup at several head heights level shot trajectory could take out dozens of zombies per shot, never going to happen in the movies where it’s always body shots the zombies get right up from.

Bows and Cross Bows

The main advantage of bows and cross bows is silence. Great for provision hunting without attracting attention. Also good for take downs from protected positions. Not so much when you have to fumble finger reload with creatures seconds away from your neck.

Knives, Swords and Blades

Good poking and chopping weapons are available everywhere from the camping section in the local discount store to online at amazon and ebay and a thousand other sites.  A nice sharp stainless steel marine dress sword can be had on ebay for less then $50 including shipping and can be stored in the umbrella stand by the door.

Watch out for blades that are little more then movie props, toys for anime comic cons that will break when used.  When you can’t examine the weapon before purchase, ask the seller about the quality of the item, if the blade metal the tang extends to the end of the handle.

A warning about the tv/movie theory of the knife blade in the brain. It is my theory zombies are run by the dinosaur portion of the brain so the commonly shown front and top brain stabs may not be effective unless deep. Survival knives with saw blades may prove impossible to remove from a zombie skull. Think bowie knife.  Movies are not a survival manual. Never turn your back on a zombie you think has been put down.

Secondary Weapons

A trip to the local auto supply, hardware and garden store finds a boat load of weapons.  Think chainsaw (best after bite revenge weapon, spews gore at user, cuts out when needed most), three foot long screw driver with half inch square shank, three foot crow bar, roofer’s rip hammer extended length with straight claw, single and double bladed axe, machetes, narrow blade garden shovel with D-handle (so you can pull it out from between the eyes) the Coleman folding camping shovel with D-handle should do nicely and there is always the war surplus entrenching tool though a problem handle when slippery with gore.

Improvised Weapons

From baseball bat (think Saint Louis Slugger) or (Brooklyn Smasher) to pole lamp with weighted base, be creative anything that can crunch a zombie head or two can help you get out of a bad place.  A tightly rolled newspaper jammed into a zombie mouth can be more effective in staying out of reach then bare hands.

Hunting Zombies with Dogs

Advantages: Early warning, zombie distraction.

Disadvantages: Barks draw zombies to your position, can be bitten, may bite zombie and become infected, dog has no defense against zombies. Survival may require loss of dog to zombie.

Self Defense

Learn some basic fighting moves, Get Tough WWII hand fighting manual, see how far you can throw a zombie. Warning: These moves can kill or cripple even in practice use with extreme caution. Note: Not all physical attacks will be as effective on a zombie that does not react to pain, as they would be on a typical human being.

Fort Zombie

Plan ahead checking out places that are solid castle like buildings a group of like minded individuals can defend when filled with collected provisions.  Consider old style banks, government buildings, apartment buildings where the first floor stairs can be barricaded/removed and a ladder or fire escape used to come and go.

Historical preserved forts can mean safe harbor for large groups if well provisioned and recently added emergency exits can be secured.

If you don’t plan ahead, you’re planing to fail.